Here are ten fantastic things the Democrats have accomplished this year:
- The standard of living is up 500% among Ukrainian politicians: Wow! Good for them!
- Hilarious memes of Biden eating ice cream have increased 40%: Experts agree that laughter improves life span.
- Thousands of Americans have been saved from the threat of seeing somebody pray in front of an abortion clinic: By arresting pro-lifers, the FBI is finally doing what they were designed to do.
- That Paw Patrol movie was actually pretty ok: Better than the Rings of Power, anyway.
- You’ve learned to appreciate the taste of bulk ramen: Pro tip — Buy multiple flavors and then mix up all the packets. Every time you enjoy a bowl you’re playing a game of Ramen roulette!
- More women of color are piloting the attack drones that bomb Syrian children: Progress!
- Afghani women don’t have to go to school anymore…or work…or make decisions: They can stay home all day to Netflix and chill. You go, gurl!
- You bought a house, are slowly paying off your debts and made tons of new friends. (In Animal Crossing): And look at that, you just got approved for a new home loan without even asking. Thanks, Tom Nook!
- Bob from Newport got married: Congrats, Bob!
- An 800% increase in people missing Trump: Ha! What a bunch of losers!
